Wednesday, March 19, 2014

So where in the heck is BabyWeightMyFatAss lately?

School.
More school.
Observations for school.

This is the time of the semester when stuff starts being due. We only have about 5 ish weeks left of school for this semester. It's flown by. In the next two weeks the girls tag team me with spring breaks. They will never have the same week off for spring break so figuring out what to do with them is hard. This is what life will be like when I finish school and eventually go to work. ARGH!! LOL

I do have some good updates though.
Remember when Avery went to the dentist for the first time ever last year? It was horrible.
Time has passed and this time we were able to schedule her appointment first thing in the am. When I say first thing I mean 6:30 am.


As I white knuckled it there in a snow storm to bring her to this appointment I just prayed that it would go well and we could get back home. It did go well! She didn't even want to leave but it was not the traumatic experience (for me!) like it was last time. A big thanks to Dr. Rita and her staff who made it wonderful.

Her sister is doing well to. She's just a happy kid, doing really well in school.


She still want's a dog but she settled for a fish.


It's still alive so she's doing something right!

We spent the month of February passing along some illness or another. Four trips to the Doctors. Three pink eye diagnosis, 3 upper respiratory infections, two thrown backs. February was not a good month health wise or food wise.

March is almost over. Have you freaked out about that yet? I am only freaking out because that means deadlines are looming for school now. I've spent the last few years being a stay at home Mom just trying to figure out how to occupy a kids time during the summer. Now I have to figure out how to arrange childcare so I can take a biology class in the summer so I can graduate on time in the spring of 2015. Only a year away!!

In the fall I'll be doing my social work internship in the early intervention program for our state. It was my first choice and I'm very happy to being able to put my perspective of what it's like to be the parent on the other side of the table who comes to a social worker and says, "I think my child may have some issues." I know how it feels and I know how scary it is to get those diagnosis at the beginning.

I've been doing an agency observation the past few weeks and it has really opened up my eyes to how DCFS systems are ran. I had a very heart warming experience last week on a home visit. The child,  was autistic and never acknowledged the caseworker before in her experience in previous visits. About the time we were ready to leave the child came up to me, motioned for me to pick him up. He proceeded to hug me to the shock of his foster mom, caretaker and the caseworker. It was pretty cool.

Know what today is??  It's Chicago Marathon registration for the lotto! If you want a guaranteed entry into Chicago you can always raise money for Run for Autism for a FREE entry with raising a minimum of $1,000. * Cough * Cough* because I am a person who apparently thrives on chaos I have ponied up my body to raise money for this wonderful charity!! I  am already at 20% of my goal!

So contribute to the crazy this year!  Help me, help make a difference in the lives of kids with Autism!


Thank you!

Friday, February 7, 2014

It's February, how the hell did that happen?

Hey is it snowing where you are?


We've had a lot of snow. In fact they've been saying it's the 4th snowiest winter we've ever have had. Some people enjoy and some people well we are just tolerating it for now. Since the beginning of the year school has been canceled 4x. Not just for the kids but for me as well. This semester is off. Like way off. I feel very behind and that seems to be the consensus of my classmates as well.



When it's cabin fever for everyone it gets a bit um annoying. At some point it's just enough.

There is only so much you can do when it snows THEN it goes into the negatives. Dreaming of beach days and fruity drinks can only occupy so much time.

On Wednesday it snowed again. I had a sick kid at home so I missed class again. I missed school the week before because the other kid was sick. My kids are tag teaming me with being sick and then giving me their germs to top it off. Good times. As I drove to school yesterday morning I noticed the snow looked different this time. Sparkly. It's the best way I can describe it. It looked so sparkly it looked fake. When I got to school I tried to get a picture of it without getting frostbite.



Parts of campus are still decorated for Christmas but the light just shines so prettily throughout in the am. I get to school early for my class because if I don't then I have to fight for parking and I R OLD. I don't have time for that crap. LOL.


This happy kid here is doing good. We got the results of her 24 hour EEG and they were negative. No seizures are showing up. We go for a follow up with the neurologist DR tomorrow and I'm not sure what her next step is. We did move back her sleep time. Some days she can tolerate to wait that long to go to bed, some days she puts herself to bed early. Then there are days when we pushed the sleep back but she still was waking up in the middle of the night.

In the middle of January my husband was hit by a semi truck. At first it was a hit and run. But another trucker saw the accident and followed the trucker until the state police could pull him over.

The driver of the truck said, "I didn't feel anything". Nice. Anyways, guy caught, other insurance company paying for it. Hoorah! He was fine thank goodness. A little shooken (sp?)  up but he's ok.

 ***


Do you think that person above is unhealthy?

Same day but a long view.

No muscle tone.  At this point in time I weighed about 110-115 and achieved the height of 5'6. At 115 lbs I would be slightly above the threshold for a healthy BMI of 18.6 . At 110 lbs it would be 17.8 and in the unhealthy range. Either way today 20 + years away from that I would hear, "you look like a lollipop" "too thin" "eat something".  Now we all know BMI's can be off as well but I normally see that with people who have a lot of muscle. Some of the cheerleaders at my school were told they were fat by their coach. But they weren't. They were SOLID muscle and healthy. (this coach issue could be another post in itself...)

In high school I didn't think anything about my weight. Never crossed my mind. I probably thought I would be thin forever and ever. Ha. Today I worry about my weight every freaking day. I am almost 100 lbs heavier today than I was in 1990. Oy. That's 24 years. For a split second when I see these pics I think "damn to be that thin again". But I know it's not right. It's really not that healthy. My 41 year old brain knows that's not healthy. At 18 though I didn't think anything of it.

Now you know that I've been that small.  My highest weight when I was pregnant with my oldest daughter was 270 ish lbs. I say ish because I stopped looking after a certain weight and my husband does tell me I weighed more than him. After she came and my weight settled I was around 240 lbs. What I am getting at is that I have never been that small after being what I consider for myself big. I have yet to have that "I was small, got big, then got really small again moment in my life."


In full disclosure I have not watched a full season of Biggest Loser since season 9 when Michael won. I do pay attention to the before's and after's. When I saw the winner of this seasons Biggest Loser I was shocked. I wasn't the only one though. People are shocked. Yes it was competitive contest. Is she unhealthy? Just by the numbers, the average sit on the couch and watch Biggest Loser person can put those numbers into the computer and go yes. Is she healthy? I personally don't think so. My feeling and hope is that she will gain some of that weight back and hopefully find a happy medium. Did she probably do what she had to in order to win? Most likely. She has said she found her competitive spirit again and that's awesome.

I read a comment on Facebook that said something to the extent that if she was a runner who ran 10 miles a day and was this thin that people wouldn't question it. hmm. I don't know. See the runners I see that are thin still have muscle definition. Then another comment was if it was a male nobody would be saying anything. No I would think people would say something. In fact I have some male friends who have lost a lot of weight and people have said the same things. Need to stop, eat something, doesn't look healthy. Female/Male doesn't matter.

At some point the contestants go home and do the math. They know what the other 2 weighed at the last weigh in. They do the math from their starting weight to that, and then to what they know they have to be to win at the finale.  When you are in the final three and you weren't the biggest to begin with, you don't have many options to win. Do I blame her? Not really. I really just hope she didn't replace one issue with food/scale with a new one with food/scale with the added mix of now being the Biggest Loser winner and the pressure that that now brings onto people.

The response from the viewers and general public is one we shouldn't be having. We shouldn't be having it because the show Biggest Loser and their staff should never have let it get that way. Ever. Rachel should be celebrating regaining the self worth she thought she had lost.

I really don't know how to end this about the situation with the latest Biggest Loser. Well maybe I do. Screw you Biggest Loser. Stop saying you are all about getting healthy. The reality in this reality show is that you failed at the one thing you were suppose to be doing.

Wednesday, January 1, 2014

Tuesday, December 31, 2013

24 hours

How would you spend 24 hours?

Yesterday we spent about 24 hours of our Christmas break by having a 24 hour EEG done on Avery. In November Avery had a neurologist appointment. I wanted to talk to the DR about her sleep and possible mitochondrial issues.  Her sleep in not so many words is: jacked up. It is just all over the place. Some days she'll sleep through the night, other's she's up at 2 or 3 am. Sometimes she falls back asleep, others she's up for the day. Which makes for me a very stressful life. I say me because I can't remember the last time my husband woke up with her. He works, drives over an hour for work and doesn't hear her he says. This then falls on me. So who doesn't get sleep if she wakes up? Me. Good times.

The DR though wasn't that concerned about her sleep. He said we were putting her to sleep to early and wanted us to push it back. Saweet. That's hard. She is just DONE by a certain time. While school was in session there was no luck in pushing it back. Since the break we were able to push it back a bit more. She's had good and bad days. There seemed to be about a week where she was sleeping through the night then poof 3 days in a row where she wasn't. That was right before the EEG appointment.

The DR requested the EEG to make sure she is not having any seizures that we can't see. He said that could be a reason for her sleep to be messed up and for her to have violent outbursts. We were to log all violent outbursts and all incidences.

We went to the clinic to get her set up on Monday. Obviously we have had issues with DR appointments before and I was hoping the set up there wasn't a tiny little room and it wasn't! She was kinda of iffy at first but she was such a big girl.

I was worried she would fight us, then I was worried she would pull the electrodes but she was such a trooper. She sat still and was very patient.

She held on to that all organic lollipop all the way home. Didn't even touch. Was just happy to have one!

When we got home we were suppose to set up a video recorder. What would happen is if something were to happen and it was recorded on the electrodes the DR could see what was going on. Well what happens when you give a recorder to a child with a 4 foot cord?  Um she tries to stretch it as far as she can. And she won't sit anywhere in the 4 foot radius.

Like most days she won't let you hang out in her room with her either. So this was my view yesterday for most of the afternoon. We had to watch her to make sure she didn't mess with the cord, the pack or the wrapping. The only thing she really messed with was the pack. It had a little button you pressed if she had an incident (like a violent outburst) and it would help the DR to see it on the report. She loved to press that when she was able to get the pack off. That only happened 2x. I really kept her busy with giving her lollipops over and over. So in reality this kid was a rock star with everything she had to go through yesterday.

At night we put her to bed with the video monitor in front of her. I thought she would mess with it and she just stared at herself on the monitor and fell asleep.


Another part of the process was that I had to sleep in the room with her to watch her incase she woke up and messed with stuff. That I think was the hardest part. I like my sleep. Well what little of it that I get. I have a very comfy bed. I slept on the old futon mattress we have in her room. My sleep was horrible last night. I also realized that Avery moves around in her bed a lot. She's also moves her feet a lot and I know this because she kicked off her blanket at least 2x in the 6 hours I was in there.

One last shot of her eating breakfast with everything. Yeah oops we didn't have a button up shirt for her so she wore that for pj's to. The electrodes also had 2 attached to her back to monitor her heart as well.

Finally at 8am we could take it all off and give her a bath and wash the gel out of her hair. She was kinda of miffed she had to take everything off but in the end she was happy.

She was saying, "Cheeeeeese!" here. After this she just took off running around the house! Pretty happy to be done with the EEG. We won't have the results for awhile but imo this kid though was a rockstar the last 24 hours! Superstar!

Friday, December 27, 2013

Goals for 2014

I just had to do another post as Blogger tells me I wrote 666 posts and that number just creeps me out!

I hope everyone had a great Christmas!

Ours was a quiet, small affair.



While we knew the oldest wanted every Lalaloopsy doll out there and 2 puppies she only got the dolls. Well 2 dolls from us and 1 from her Auntie. Avery got a set of Chipmunk beanie babies and Max and Ruby dolls. Very simple here. The best part was that nobody was sick and we didn't spend any of our holiday in the ER like last  year! Hoorah!

***

I switched things up on the blog a little bit and updated the last 2 years of races on the sidebar. While I only did 3 races in 2012 I did double it for this past year. Rereading the race reports had me thinking of the past year. It was a year of a lot of ups and downs.


I also went to the gym more than I had in previous years. Even if that wasn't much it was still a big plus to help get over my nervousness of stepping into the gym and working out in public.

During the summer I started back on my journey to finish school. This fall I had 4 classes and my days were busy. My schedule was a bit off as I spent all day Tuesday/Thursday in class and on MWF I had a 11 am class that totally threw me off my schedule. I ended up with 3 B's and 1 A for the fall semester and was very happy with that in the end. I barely missed an A in another class too!

Next semester I have 5 classes. Again my schedule is all day Tuesday/Thursday (though earlier starting and ending earlier). I have 1 night class on Child Welfare starting at 5pm on Wednesday. Included in this schedule is 1 online schedule. It's a lot I know. I might not take any classes in the summer to make up for this schedule. OR I might take 2 classes in the summer so it just leaves me with my core classes and my internship next fall/spring in order to graduate in May 2015. Crazy busy but I have to, need to, want to graduate!!

***

So what are my goals for 2014?

Get to my goal weight. Run again. Stay injury free. Cross & strength train 3-4x a week. 

Same as the last 2 years. This upcoming year though I am not numbering them or putting them in any priority. All on the same level of importance. 

I want more of this:


And way less of this: 

While I would love to say this doesn't matter:
It does matter to an extent. I've lost the weight before and I know I can do it again. The question is finding out what is stopping/blocking me from reaching my goals. The answer most likely is just me. I'm mucking up my work. Self sabotaging myself. That's something to work on in the new year. Being a full time student, mom and wife doesn't mean I have to completely forget about taking care of myself. I saw one of my ski club buddies last weekend. He's lost a lot of weight. He wasn't obese to begin with but he said one day he just wanted to get healthy. He quit drinking and watched what he ate. He's retiring in 2 years and wants to be ready for it. I don't want to wait until before I retire (hahano) to get my shit together. Because if I don't get my shit together NOW I might not get to that point! 

After seeing all of the pictures from our ski club party I could tell that in just a few weeks of being off of school and eating and drinking everything in sight that it did a number on me. I could see it in my face. I made a funny little joke that when my husband and I first got together I gave him a ski club jacket for Christmas and now 10 years later I wear it because my own ski club jacket doesn't fit me. It hasn't fit me in about 5 years truthfully. It's just that I don't feel like me anymore. And I want to feel like me again. Heck I want to feel better than how I ever felt. 

On January 2nd I'll start the Advocare Herbal Cleanse. It's an easy cleanse that helped me last time focus on my eating. From there I have a plan of cutting out any crap that is processed. I've done it before and I know/want need to do it again. 

Where and when will I work out? Well I'll have 3 days during the week where I can workout at the gym without time restraints. I, of course, have the Wii U and Wii Fit Meter that I can use as well at home. 

Will I race next year? hmm. Big races? No probably not. It's just not feasible $$ wise. I know I need sometime to have a race as a goal to motivate me. The Wisconsin Half Marathon would have been at the end of finals week for me next year. But they got rid of the northern suburb packet pick up and gave a packet pick up to Fleet Feet in Chicago. Bummer. Why would I want to drive into the city of Chicago for a race thats in Wisconsin with no same day packet pick up? There are 3 other options. Milwaukee and Kenosha. You can also have it mailed to you for $25. I know I sound like a whiney bitch but the Skokie location was an easy peasy pick up for me. I have a discount coupon for the Wisconsin half because I did not do it this past year so it's still an option. ARGH! 

In the end my goal for 2014 is to just work on being a better me. Sounds so simple but if I don't let myself get in my own way I might just make my goals next year!